I've spent a lot of time lately daydreaming. In those daydreams, I am fit, happy and on an early morning run. Many nights before I go to bed, I think about those daydreams and how I can make them a reality. However, when I wake up in the morning, I either roll back over and go back to sleep, or I am woken up by the kids. There are several opportunities for exercise throughout my day, but I rarely capitalize on them. I know that if I don't workout, I'll never get into shape, and I'll never be able to go running.
This isn't the first time I've tried to lose weight. However, it is the first time I'm doing so specifically for me and my health, not to get pregnant. I don't know if the reason I'm so reluctant to get with it is because I know it's a continual and forever process that won't end, whereas in the past, once there's a positive pregnancy test, all bets are off?
The first time I went through the weight loss process, I followed Weight Watchers and went from 161 lbs to 149 lbs. I gained it all back, plus about 4 more lbs. It did take me longer to gain it back than to lose it...the first time. The second time, I managed to get down to about 145 when I got pregnant with Emily. Gained all the weight back, but settled around 165 post pregnancy. I got back down to 158 when I found out I was pregnant with Noah, and gained the weight back again. Now I'm settled in around 165. With my height, I need to be closer to 115, so I have around 50 lbs to lose.
I have been hard pressed to find the motivation to take those daydreams and start acting on things to make them come true. I had started to workout during the kids' nap right before I got hit with mono. It's been almost 2 months since that happened. I think I finally have gotten over the guilt of letting my body rest and heal. I'm also about over the cold I had. YAY! I think a huge part of that is taking vitamin D. It helps boost the immune system, and my levels have been low for so long. So I often would daydream about my goal body and the life I want to live while the life I have is passing me by.
My point? Yes, I do have one. :o) I am finally taking a stand against my laziness, my depression, my excuses. I found a ton of fitness programs on Netflix streaming while looking for shows for Em. I was impressed with the selection and am currently going through one a day while the kids nap and blogging about it on my sparkpeople account. Yesterday, I chose to do a Jillian Michaels (Biggest Loser) workout - Biggest Winner! Shape Up Front. Um, there should have been a warning (other than that which I read in countless reviews) that if you are a beginner or out of shape, pick something else! I stuck to the workout, having to pause it once for nearly 5 minutes while I struggled to keep my lunch down and not faint in the bathroom. I also can honestly say I missed out on several reps of most of the exercises because of the break neck pace. I now understand how come Tara from Season 7 of the Biggest Loser was always throwing up. So I definitely give her kudos for just doing it and keeping on. I told myself that if I did get sick, I would try to be like Tara. As soon as the workout was over, I stripped off my socks & shoes before I passed out.
Today, after yesterday's overheating episode (it's been 80-85 degrees in our house the last two days and won't be any lower until next week at the earliest), I decided that yoga or pilates would be a better choice. I chose to do CRUNCH Candlelight Yoga. I did this for several reasons, the major being my mood as of late. I have been very high strung and increasingly irritated. It didn't help that Kyle found out on Friday that he had to work Saturday, then Saturday that he had to work today, nor did it help when he told me his coworker fell asleep 3 TIMES at work yesterday. The workout was extremely relaxing for me and I definitely could feel the fresh blood in my muscles. I think if I can keep up doing the yoga in this heat, that perhaps sometime I'll actually give hot yoga a try. Of course, given my propensity to overheat, maybe I shouldn't.
I am feeling hopeful that I will turn this into a good habit and once we get through this patch of heat, may be able to step it up with cardio and get rid of the baby weight x2, the college weight and whatever other weight I'm hanging on to. I know there is a long road ahead of me and that I won't see results overnight, nor will I reach my end goals anytime soon, but I think going into this process with my eyes open, I will succeed.
I simply need to remain consistent, make myself a priority, and stay accountable. I had planned to add some before pics, but our hard drive is offline right now, so I guess I will have to do it tomorrow. :)
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