Week 15 - Managing

I'm tired, frustrated and in high need of a kick-butt workout. I was down 0.8 lbs this week, despite hardly working out - had a 5 day break because of a cold. I ate quite a bit and felt generally quite blah. I've managed to step up the workouts by at least having them the last few days, but I am not in the game mentally.

Problem 1 - AF/TOM/the Crimson tide...whatever you call it, it's visiting after a 4.25 month absence (thank you Seasonale!). I'm feeling sluggish, tired, grumpy and unmotivated. Thankfully, I decided to wash my bedding or I'd most likely be in bed instead of in my workout clothes blogging. I need to get to my workout in a few minutes, but thought I'd post before I forgot about this week's post.

Problem 2 - The humid, gray weather. We've had some sun, but nothing that lasts very long and my SAD seems to be continuing on into the summer. UGH! It was beautiful yesterday afternoon when I went for a short trail run, and it was clear last night when I was stargazing through the sky light above our bed at 3:30 (Thanks Noah).

Problem 3 - The lingering cold. I'm still a little stuffy & runny nosed, but nothing compared to last week or the week before.

So hopefully as the week goes on, I'll feel a bit better and feel more motivated. I'm in a mental slump and just don't feel like food journaling and working out. I still do it, but it doesn't hold as much of the positive nature that it did before camp started. Granted, the slow-down in my weight loss is probably part of that - something that reigning in the stress eating and fattening, higher calorie stuff I've been eating more of would help out with. I'm just grateful I'm under 50 lbs left to goal weight. I've lost 22.4 of the 70.4 lbs I needed to lose. So 48 lbs left. I only have to do what I've done about 2 more times. That makes it seem more doable.

Well, enough talk, I better get to my workout!

Week 14 - That's more like it

I lost another 2 lbs this week for a total of 21.4 in the last 14 weeks. :) I'm really curious to see what my measurements are next week since it seems like I suddenly got skinnier in the last week.

Definitely glad to have my mojo back after being sick. That cold seemed to sap my will power and made me crave sugar like nothing else. Thankfully I'm back in control and only have 2 days left of camp food. As long as I keep my workouts up, I should be in a good spot through the week.

Back to my mountain of laundry and my coffee. I'm hoping the clouds burn off and the sun comes out soon. The kids haven't been the best listeners today, so I'm going to get off the computer for a while and see if that helps. :)

Week 11 - Getting comfy

I lost another pound this week, bringing me to 17.8 lbs on WW. I seem to be hitting my stride and haven't struggled too much with what to eat or how much exercise to get. I know that I need to rest and I do, I know I need to exercise and I do and I know that I should make sure that I'm eating enough fruits and veggies and drinking enough water. I know that drinking lots of alcohol or eating lots of salt will kill my weigh ins and I know that I feel better when well hydrated and when I'm not depriving myself.

I've been wearing my size 10 jeans for 10 days now and although I can only wear 1 pair of them, they're definitely getting more comfortable. I feel my thighs getting tighter and the legs of the jeans not being skin tight anymore. :) I am still working through my hip and back issues - hips are tight, I have ribs in my mid-back that like to pop out of place and subsequently, things between those two places tend to get locked up frequently. I haven't gotten back to running, but might give it a try once this group leaves and I can get my treadmill back out. We'll see how I'm feeling by the end of the week though. My mid-back is already starting to get sore and I just had my adjustment yesterday and won't have another one until next Monday. It would be helpful if I didn't have kids pulling on my shoulders and upper torso or constantly whining, causing me to tense up.

Week 9 - By the skin

...of my teeth, I eked out a 1 lb loss. I ate with reckless abandon (okay, restrained abandon haha) this weekend, using 56 pts on Saturday and nearly as many on Sunday. Yeowza! I got on the scale yesterday morning and saw 172.8. Not good! So I drank 12 cups of water and did a kicking cardio workout last night around 8:30 pm after the kids were in bed. I also ate well, focusing on cutting back on salt. It worked! 169.2 this morning, all that salt flushed out. Lesson learned, salt is not my friend, at least not without a lot of water at the same time. :)

So I think I'm about 5-10 lbs from where I was when we moved to camp just about 1 yr ago. It's good to know that I've almost undone all the damage of last year in just about 2.5 months. I'm feeling a lot stronger and more fit than a year ago, so that is also a bonus. Plus, I'm sure that while my weight is similar, my body composition is not. Really looking forward to seeing how my body transforms as I get closer to goal and see how it compares to 2006 before I got pregnant. I know it won't be the same, but I'm hopeful that I'll be stronger and more muscular. I have a long way to go, and I'm under no illusions that this is going to be either quick or easy, but definitely enjoying the journey this time around.

Week 7 - Smoking

I am down another 2.6 lbs this week, totally 13.6 in 7 wks on WW. Not too shabby! I've also gotten up to 24 mins/2 miles at 5 mph (12 min mile) on the treadmill. My 5K time yesterday was 43:03 and I'm looking forward to getting some running socks to my instep blisters are a thing of the past. It will take a while to save for the Mizuno Wave Nirvana 7 running shoes I would like to purchase. I definitely have my work cut out for me, but I am hopeful that perhaps I can join my friends Heather & Lori running a half-marathon next year. I know I'm not close right now, but I just need to keep working on endurance and losing weight.

I take measurements again next week, it will be interesting to see if there are many losses or if I maintain and just keep losing weight. Either way, I'm shrinking away and just feel like I'm on fire with WW & exercise. It's amusing me that I'm starting my 8th week, but it feels like I'm still just getting started. I think it helps that I jumped in head first and am not hesitant. I know how the program works and I know where my strengths & weaknesses are. Plus, I really enjoy working out. I love how strong and fit it makes me feel, I like having time to work off my stress and to focus on me. I really want to get more DVDs, but I'm still on an imposed buy-ban. Truly, it's a good thing though. I added over 20 workouts to my Christmas list. :)

Week 5 - Not feeling the love

Wow, this was a rough week. I just couldn't find my groove. There was too much of "life" getting in the way. ;) Hoping this week is way better. It will be a bit tricky to get the kids into a bit of a schedule/rhythm since we don't have school. Diet will also be tricky until we can get to the store.

I'm still happy about my running progress, but it's hard not to focus on what went wrong. I got half as many activity points as I have been, I ate a lot of extra calories this weekend. And when I mean a lot, I mean a LOT. I ate all of my APs and a few of my weekly points (for the first time since I started). Needless to say, don't plan to do that again! I just feel really "off" lately. My head is out of the game and I feel like I'm unraveling. I know once I get a few workouts in and drink a lot of water and give my mood a detox, I'll be feeling a lot better. I just know I need to ease up on myself. It's flipping week 5, not every week is a stellar week and I still lost 0.2 lbs. I didn't gain, and given how badly I ate the last 4 days & how little water I had, it was great.

Bring it on!

So yesterday was my follow up with my ARNP. She was happy about my 10 lbs lost and that I am doing much better. It looked like we were going to leave meds as they were, but I made a comment about increasing the anti-depressant, to which she replied, "sure, that might help." Pretty standard appointment, but still love her! She's so easy to get along with and very positive.

I'm on day 2 of the increased dosage. So far, ouch! So tired and moody. Forgot about those side effects from the first week and the fact that adding more meds means more adjustments. Yesterday was rough. Today, I knew to expect it, so I am not quite as nearly impacted. Emotionally, I'm a little more steady, but basically, back to where I was 2 days ago. LOL

I didn't get a workout in yesterday, I was cleaning and doing laundry instead. I could completely tell, because I was cranky. I hit the treadmill today for 30 minutes. I walked the first 6 mins, then ran for 5, then switched to intervals of 1-2 mins of each for the remaining 19 mins. I was happy that I ran for half of the time and my mile time was 14:10, which is really good for me! The other good thing is that I can run without the song being completely fast & rocking. Yay!

Also, a mom at Em's school mentioned today that she can tell I'm losing weight and looked good. :D Nothing like a good compliment to make a girl feel good. Wondering what my friends will have to say this weekend. I'm excited about the progress I'm making and since I did say I'd do a marathon with two of them in the next 5 yrs... I guess at some point I'll have to start running for more than 4 miles. LOL I think that since we're on summer vacation, I might give a longer distance a try next week, even if Noah's up and the kids are watching tv. I think 5 miles is doable and I won't pressure myself to run a ton, just at least 20 mins. Heck, if I can run for 30 mins I will be so pumped! :)

I'm just so excited that I'm slowly becoming a runner. It felt good and I wish that I would have kept running when I stopped at 5 mins. I think I could have done at least another 2-3 mins, but I psyched myself out. I definitely noticed that the farther along I got, the harder it was to run for 2 mins, I think the last intervals were 1 min each. So I think when I do my 5 miles, I'll just run as long as I can before stopping just to see how long I can go. Granted, I'm only running at 5mph, but I have stumpy legs and I'm still 54 lbs over my max healthy BMI. I'm so excited to imagine what it will be like to be back down in the 140's and running, then the 130's, 120's & maybe even the 110's. My ARNP thinks that 120 is a good goal weight - she seemed a little shocked when I said 115-120. I told her that I was shooting for 115, but that I'm happy at 120 if that is where my body decides it's done. My healthy BMI range is 99-124, so I do have some wiggle room. The trick will be to not gain a ton if we decide to have another baby. Because I can tell you now, if I gain 30, most of it will come off easily and then it will only be 10-15 lbs to work at. Much nicer than 70 lbs!

Week 4 - Love this!

I lost another 3 lbs this week! :D Can't be upset about that one! So that makes 8.6 lbs in 4 weeks. Plus, I had lost about 4 lbs before I started WW, so 12.6 lbs in 7 weeks! Hoping my ARNP is super excited on Thursday.

Today was my last day taking weekly measurements. I lost another 2.25 inches, for a total of 13.5 in 4 weeks. I decided that as the inch loss slows, I might get discouraged, so I'm more than willing to wait a month to see how I'm doing. :) I did notice I've gone down 1 pant size already too.

I really should have hit the treadmill, but the kids really did a number on my nerves today - acted up while we were helping set up/get chairs for graduation tomorrow. Em screamed the entire way home (20 mins), so I gobbled up a Butterfinger. 8 pts!!! Wow, not going to do that again. It wasn't even satisfying or all that tasty. Oh well, I have 6 days to get past that one! Just really want this week to be over!

Week 3 - Slimming up

Another week, another 1.8 lbs down and 4 inches lost! Woo hoo!!! :)

So now I'm 179.8. I weighed in at 189 when I was at the Dr. in April. So I think my appt a week from Thursday will be good. The sun is shining today, so that is a great help. It's warm too!

I'm hopeful that by the time I unpack the clothes I put in the suitcases - the skinny clothes - that maybe my 10's might be almost fitting. I figure that we have at least 3 weeks if not longer until we can move. Of course, those won't be the first things unpacked either. Definitely looking forward to dropping sizes.

I chopped off my hair yesterday & dyed it this morning. I'm mostly happy with it. I'd like to have layers and maybe a little less length, but it's a lot better now that it's hitting my shoulders and not down to my mid-back. At least I can still throw it up in a pony tail for workouts. Time to let lunch digest then get to my workout. Fighting the post lunch sleepiness.

Clothes

I am working on packing up our house, slowly. Today, I packed up all of my skinny clothes. There were tons of size 6 & 8 pants, skirts, size small tops and I miss them! I went on a shopping spree about 1 month before I got pregnant with Em and subsequently grew out of them within a few weeks after finding out. I have such cute skirts, so many pairs of Lucky Brand jeans, my mint green XS North Face vest. I cannot wait to hit next spring/summer and be at goal. That may mean some of those clothes might even be too big! Either way, I am so thrilled to have the opportunity to shop out of my own clothes as I get thinner.

This time I am 100% determined to make this work. I may need to increase my anti-depressant dosage at my next appt to help that. I've noticed my motivation is waning, along with my coping skills. I do fine as long as the sun is out, but on days like today, where it's dark & gray, I just want to go back to bed or have it be quiet. I'm feeling so much better than 6 weeks ago, but I know that this still isn't where I need to be. I'm just grateful that I'm aware enough of my emotions to know that I need to be my own advocate and to speak up if something is wrong.

I know that once we have moved into the new house and I have more space, things will help. I'm so claustrophobic in our apartment with the two kids and dog constantly underfoot, that having over double the space will be a much needed relief. I'm really looking forward to having a fully enclosed room for Kyle & I again and for having 2 bathrooms and for the kids to have their own rooms. I'm excited to have my treadmill in my house to use whenever I want, regardless of groups being at camp. I'm most excited about a house that is not on the main camp property. No guests waking the kids up from naps/sleep, no dog barking all day while groups are here, privacy for our family.

I better go find a snack, then get back to packing. While I have time, I shouldn't waste it and then rush at the end. It would be great to avoid procrastinating for once. ;)

Week 1 - Accomplished

Whoops! I started this and then never finished it. :o)

So at the end of my first week back on WW, I was down 1.4 lbs and 4.25 inches gone. Not the best ever, but certainly am not complaining because I'm smaller.

I've been working hard this past week and while I don't see much change on the scale yet (hopefully that milk shake I had will go away!), I hope to see one on Tuesday morning for weigh in. I started incorporating my DVDs into the workout rotation this week. I did FIRM cardio bootcamp and it was tough, but good. Today I did Tae Bo Flex and it was pretty good. I have a lot of room for improvement, but I finished pretty easily.

I've been doing more walking on the treadmill. I've been focusing on walking/jogging 5k, but on Friday I did 4 miles. It kicked my rear something fierce! I probably won't do that again for another week. I'm definitely starting to feel small improvements in my stamina again and hopefully it will continue to increase!

Day 1...again

Well, today is the day. Our internet is working, we had our weekend away, time to buckle down and get healthy. It was interesting reading back to the beginning of this blog just how motivated I was. I didn't realize I was so dedicated to losing weight and getting fit and healthy. It's kind of sad how much I lost track of in the last year. I understand how it happened - no meds to keep my head on straight and cope with stress, no internet to follow either Weight Watchers or sparkpeople.com - but it's still sad. Hopefully I can get my head back in the game and work hard. I have cute clothes in my closet that I would love to be wearing by next summer (as in a year from June, not this summer).

So today, my weight is 185.4. Not good, but it is still 3 lbs less than it was when I started on my meds 2.5 weeks ago. I haven't done anything yet - no exercise, no intentional healthy eating - so I can't complain. It's just that being on meds again has curbed my compulsive eating behaviors, so I am no longer getting a ton of extraneous calories that don't belong in my diet. My intentional change today was switching back to Americanos instead of nonfat lattes. Lactose & I aren't the best of friends these days. The next change needs to be getting to bed earlier, waking up earlier and getting in my workouts in the early morning so that I have the rest of the day to add in extra activity, or at least do something with the kids.

As I was looking at my weight chart on WW.com, I realized that I was only 131.2 in 8/06, right before I got pregnant with Emily. So I have a long way to go to get into my super cute size 6 jeans, skirts, etc., but I know that with some discipline, I can do it. Only 54 lbs to go, right? LOL My initial goal is to lose 20 lbs by the end of the summer, so roughly a lb a week through the end of August. Hopefully I can surpass that goal, but I'm trying to be realistic with a move & eating camp food this summer. So once I get to that 2o lbs mark, I'll probably reevaluate and plan the next goals.

I'm baaacccckkkk!

Well, it has been quite an interesting year. We moved out to Camp Bethel at the end of May of last year and it's been a challenging adjustment for me.

I gained 30 pounds in the first 6 months and managed to maintain that from Christmas until now. We didn't have insurance until this last month, so I had to endure my seasonal/clinical depression medication free all fall/winter. I'm now back on medication and feeling the life coming back into me. I still have a ways to go (and a LOT of weight to lose), but definitely feel better than I did a few weeks ago. Spring showing up also helps.

I just need to get back to walking/jogging on my treadmill and doing Weight Watchers. Having internet back after not having it for a year will definitely help. It doesn't help they changed the points calculations so the stuff I had memorized means nada now.

So I'm currently down 4 lbs from a couple of weeks ago and hopefully getting exercise and eating well will get the weight off quickly.

Will I still be carded?

So looming ahead of me, 1 week from now, is my 30th birthday. I was looking forward to it when it was much farther away. But to be honest, as it gets closer and closer, I'm not too thrilled. I don't know if it's that I figured I'd have it together a bit more by now, or if it's just that I'm not overly happy with what I haven't done.

I feel like life is just a chaotic mess and that I'm merely trying to survive it instead of living it. That's a disappointment for sure. Who wants to just go through the motions instead of enjoying what every day has to offer and truly embrace everything, good or bad?

I also think I'm stuck in the "grass is greener" mentality. I have friends that are currently expecting their 2nd or 3rd baby - I want to be pregnant too (I HATE pregnancy). I have friends that are single that are out doing all sorts of stuff - no attachments (I LOVE my family). I have friends that are married with no kids or are just having/had their first - I miss the newness of everything (I'm excited to have been with Kyle just about 10 years). Perhaps it's that I spent so many years wanting to get pregnant, wanting to have a baby and being jealous of those who were in that state that for whatever reason, I can't get my mind to disengage from autopilot.

I adore my kids and my husband. I know I'm completely blessed with two healthy children (aside from a mild chicken pox incident with Noah), a loving and devoted husband, a nice home, wonderful in-laws, and I'm able to stay at home with the kids full time. Granted, we're walking a super fine line with surviving financially with me at home after last year's financial upheaval, but we're making due.

My workouts and diet have pretty much fallen to the wayside. I just am not motivated. I'm in the throes of S.A.D. (seasonal affective disorder) - speaking of which, seeing it mentioned on 30 Rock the other week made me laugh - I think I'm still dealing with the tail end of post partum depression, my normal clinical depression, and an unforgiving sweet tooth. Sugar cookie binge anyone? To be honest though, there are stark improvements. I made about 5.5 dozen tiny sugar cookies. I think there are still 3.5 dozen left, and almost 1 dozen that are gone were eaten by the rest of the family. In the past (meaning even a month ago), there would only be about 1 dozen left now and the family would have eaten maybe 6.

I really need to set attainable goals and benchmarks and really keep myself accountable. I guess maybe I need to print off my weight loss chart and hang it on the fridge like I did before. Nothing like seeing the line going down (or up after a bad week or two) to keep you from digging into the ice cream or having an extra serving of pasta.

I have to leave it at that for now, I have a hungry customer upstairs!

Train ride

This is kind of an odd title, but I'm trying to view it as getting back on the train to keep going on my journey to a healthier me. I haven't worked out since 12/1 and I'm actually nervous about getting back into a routine and working out regularly. I start my sparkpeople mom's group Biggest Loser challenge on Tuesday. I think we're pairing up this time, so it's a little bit more pressure than previous challenges. Of course, I am still nursing Noah, which I was hoping to be done with by now, so that makes it tough on the calorie restrictions. I do need to get back into focusing on healthy eating and more whole foods.

I was a train wreck with the sugar cookies we had at Christmas and our extended family Christmas party. I think I should be thankful I am still in the same general weight range I was at before Christmas. I still need to take before pics for the challenge and post my initial stats.

Time to watch Em play Memory Ni Hao, Kai Lan. :o)

I did it!

I talked to Kyle briefly on Friday about my struggles to step up and take the tv time during the weekend to work out. I skipped my Friday workout, since I've still been fighting something. I also didn't work out yesterday. I was a little disappointed in myself yesterday, but I hadn't gotten much sleep, so I think I used it as an excuse to just be lazy. We did go to Target and walk around for a while, so I wasn't completely a bump on a log.

So today, I did 2 - 30 minute workouts. I did the cardio bootcamp by Kendell and then I also did a Disco Abs workout by Cheryl Burke. Eh...it was okay, but glad I didn't have that as my only workout. I think I'll either do Jillian's No More Trouble Zones or the Total Sculpt by Kendell.

My big goal for tonight is to get to sleep relatively soon. I was up until nearly 2am, then Noah woke up hungry, so I didn't truly get to sleep until around 2:45.

I'm really looking forward to Thanksgiving this year. I'm excited to be neither in the 1st or 3rd trimester of pregnancy - or pregnant at all really. ;o) This time last year, I was bursting at the seams and went to Labor & Delivery the day after Thanksgiving. Now I just need to be able to not eat too much and keep with my workouts.

I only have 2 weeks worth of prenatal vitamins left, so I think I'm going to work on weaning Noah to a whole milk/formula mixture in a sippy cup for the day starting this week and still nurse at night and first thing in the morning. My goal is to be fully weaned by the end of next week. I weaned Em the day before she turned 1, so I know I'll have no problems making it to Saturday or Sunday. I think I was more prepared to wean her than I am him. I think a great deal of it is tied to the fact he's more than likely our last baby and I am not quite ready to give him over to toddlerhood. I can't hold him back though, so I think I might keep the night nursing a little longer, but give up the rest for sure by his birthday.

Once I'm done nursing, I can cut back on my calorie intake and between that and no longer having that need to maintain weight, I should start dropping weight. It helps that I started out with the exercise first and am adding in the eating. I know I can cut back on calories with success. I've done it before. This is the first time I've gotten into a good rhythm with working out and setting a schedule and really building habits in.

The last thing I have to do is set up a schedule to use my light box to reinforce a healthy set of sleep habits and resetting my internal clock. It would ideally be awesome to get up early and workout before the kids get up. So we'll see!

Please, may I have another?

Oh, I am in a load of pain today. So what did I do? I worked out more. I did Jillian Michael's No More Trouble Zones workout yesterday - partly as punishment for slacking off and not working out for almost an entire week. I started getting sore yesterday, but even more this morning. I decided to do my fat burning pilates workout today. Most of it is standing cardio, using a 1-3 lb weight, and it finishes off with some mat work. It has been several weeks since I did that particular workout, so it was almost like new. I can feel my muscles on fire still...especially my shoulders, triceps and abs. Definitely know I'll get great results if I can keep it up...and will hurt less if I keep working than if I stop and let the blood in my muscle tissues get stagnant.

My toughest thing is the weekend. I don't like working out in front of people - probably one of the reasons why I have yet to really go out and run, or why I'm not a big gym fan. I did sign up with 24 hr fitness and did all right working out before work for a few weeks way back when I was contracting at Microsoft...so back in 2004 I think. I just got much more interested in sleeping in and not getting up and hitting the elliptical and treadmill. Anyway, I am not a big fan of working out with the kids roaming around, then, when they're napping, I have to fight Kyle for the TV and/or Xbox. I don't know why I feel bad about asking him to wait on stuff until after I get in my workout. I mean, I have every right to use the stuff as he does, and mine is for a good cause, but I guess I feel guilty since he doesn't get much time with the technology during the week between Em & my shows during the week.

I mean, if I workout Monday through Friday, it isn't a big deal, but lately, I've only been getting in 2 or 3 workouts in a week. I think tomorrow calls for another round with Jillian. I actually mostly enjoyed the workout and at the end, her pep talk was nice. Plus, if I want to get those great results she promises, I need to work it.

My new goals are to work on strength and endurance through the holidays. Once I wean Noah and get into January (if he's weaned by then) then I'll start counting calories, or doing WW again. I figure, it was causing me supply issues, so for now, I'll focus on making my body stronger and preparing it to be a fat burning machine. Then, once I drop my calorie intake, I should start dropping weight, and a little easier than if I just was a ball of goo. :o)

I'm an addict

Well, at least I'm starting to become addicted to working out. Go figure. I sort of got like this before I got pregnant with both Emily and Noah. Hopefully that doesn't mean #3 will magically appear anytime in the near (or distant) future. LOL I mean, while we don't intentionally plan to have anymore kids, if it's God's will, that is completely a different matter.

Anyway, I did Crunch: Super SlimDown Pilates Yoga Blend. It was nice. The most challenging thing aside from the raised leg lift section was trying to do it while Em was running around and trying to climb on me. She kept saying she wanted to watch me exercise, so I indulged her. LOL Perhaps not again. I'll have to find a mommy/toddler workout. I think Parents has one, I have the mommy/baby one that I never do. It's tough to try and work it all out. Noah had activity table time while I worked out, but I'm sure that the seat will only work for a few more months before he outgrows it.

I am really happy that I seem to be falling back into the food tracking, working out, water drinking habits. I guess they really were well ingrained from my previous forays into weight loss. I know there will be times things get thrown for a loop with my schedule, but I'm trying not to let that interfere with things. The important thing is that I maintain a healthy lifestyle, not just rush to lose a bunch of weight quickly and revert back to eating mindlessly.

Well, Em is asking me to do Wii Fit, so I better get off the computer and do some more exercise. ;o)

Where do I buy a ticket back on the wagon?

So I took the weekend off from diet & exercise. Originally, I intended to be good and get back on track yesterday, but I just didn't.

This morning, I woke up resolved to get back on the wagon, but alas...it appears to have left without me. ;o) The kids' naps didn't coordinate so I could get my good nap time workout in. It doesn't help that Em was up before 7 this morning and I haven't had more than 5 minutes to myself. While I may be on the computer, I always have my eyes on one of the kids. I'm exhausted and unmotivated. My weigh in is Wednesday morning, so I need to step it up, but I just find myself apathetic to it.

Hopefully I can dig in and stick to a plan tomorrow. It's ridiculous that I so easily chucked the hard work I put in last week because of what was originally only one "break" day. Clearly, I'm not ready to take a day off yet. It's hard fighting the bad habits that are currently just under the surface. At least I'm not sore anymore, so I can't use that as an excuse. ;o) Also, I'm just about down to a size 10 from 12. I was trying to force it before - stupid birthing hips! There's still a little muffin top, but definitely not too terrible. I have come to realize that the baby belly is going to be by far the hardest thing to get rid of.

I plan to get up early and work out, but it depends a lot on if the kids cooperate and sleep well and don't get up at 6:30 again. At least the clean kitchen will help keep me focused better with eating. Time for some water & a little Leno.

Lightening up

So honestly, the title is a tongue in cheek reminder to not be so hard on myself while working on losing weight. :o)

I am really proud of how well I am doing tracking my food and know that paring down and eating better will be a slowly evolving habit. Plus, I was out this morning and there wasn't a ton of healthy options for breakfast. However, the point wasn't necessarily to eat low in calories, but to enjoy the company of other MOPs moms. ;o)

I went over my calorie range by around 500 calories yesterday, and today will probably still go over, but not by nearly as much. I have a plan in place to get through dinner. Instead of having the meaty pizza, I'm having one slice of Em's pineapple & olive pizza and a Boca burger instead. I have the mushroom mozzarella ones and they are awesome! I usually cut one up and put it on a salad with some italian dressing. In fact, I think I may just cut a slice of pizza in half instead of eating a whole one, since I did eat my salad around 4pm. That will help keep me under the max I think. :o) That is also including a small slice of apple pie. Love the moderation eating! (sorry that I'm updating my food tracker while I'm blogging!)

I also did get another workout in today. It was a slightly hectic morning this morning, and I knew I wouldn't get a workout in before going to MOPs. I was worried I wouldn't be alert enough to do one during Em's nap, but by God's grace, I had energy. I think that MOPs will be a HUGE boost to my morale and mood during the end of the week slump. So I tried a new Crunch workout (Thank you Netflix & Xbox 360 streaming!!!). This time, it was the Total Resculpt. It's split into lower & upper body. Let me tell you, my poor legs were hating me barely into it. My upper body wasn't all the bad, though my shoulders did get a tiny bit sore toward the end. Sad, I was only using 2-2.5 lbs weights. Just think of what will happen when I bring in my 3 & 5 lbs weights. I guess my lower body has been wasting away while the upper body is getting a workout from lifting/carrying a 20 lb little boy and a 29 lb little girl! Either way, I really enjoyed the instructor. He was so positive and encouraging!

Tomorrow is cardio. I have three options I am mulling over. Tae Bo, FIRM Cardio Dance, or Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred. I think it will depend on how sore I am tomorrow. If I'm really sore, I'll do the dance, but I'd prefer to do one of the other two I think. I think I do have another cardio FIRM dvd, so maybe I will do that one. It's really tough though, with tons of plyometric jump stuff. I will probably put the step based FIRM stuff back into rotation once I drop back down into the low-150's.

Wow! I talk a lot! ;o) I'll post the MOPs stuff in a separate blog.