Take a hike yak!

I have many dear lady friends that I met through babycenter.com what feels like eons ago (really, over the last 6.5 years) and one of the things we love to hate is the yak - aka morning sickness, etc.  Well, I am 15 weeks pregnant today and to celebrate, I threw up a few times.  Joy.  I haven't been sick in a few weeks, so I'm pretty annoyed.  I tell you, I was not prepared for the difference 4 years would make in the being pregnant department.

I start 17P injections (progesterone) sometime starting after next Wednesday.  So not looking forward to them, but hopefully they'll do the trick to get this little one to full term (36 wks at least).  I did do the math, however, and if I deliver in the same time frame as the other two, I have 19.5 weeks to go.  Wow, that doesn't sound very long.

I did a prenatal workout the other day and felt great, until I folded a bunch of laundry, then proceeded to end up all knotted in my upper back.  I've been meaning to do some yoga, but I haven't made the time or my body hasn't cooperated (see yak).  I mean, who wants to focus on yoga stretching and breathing when you're mostly trying not to be sick or to cope with a nasty headache?

It is amusing coming up on my 10th wedding anniversary on Friday to be pregnant with our 3rd child.  It will be 3 more weeks until we know the gender.  I'm finally getting to the point where I am impatient to know.  It doesn't matter to me if it is a boy or a girl, I'm just tired of the unknown.  I'd like to start calling the baby by it's name, refer to it as brother or sister and not "both" while talking to the kids.

I'm hoping that at some point I'll feel better and be less prone to whining and ranting.  I guess it's just hard when you feel like you're making progress only to back slide unexpectedly.  Besides, nausea & headaches are the discomforts I tolerate the least.  Coupled with sore back and not sleeping well, I'm just a cranky mess.  I'm just hopeful that I'll feel more like myself and not trapped in some alien body, being a spectator on  my life.

Mental Challenges

I started keeping a journal back in December and it was really helpful at being my venting board, but I stopped at the end of April when my morning (ALL DAY) sickness and massive fatigue took over.  It's been  6-7 weeks and wow, I am so tense, stressed and generally grumpy.  I know that a lot of it is dealing with my mom living with us and the adjustments that seem to be taking a long time to fall into place.

I honestly must have mentally blocked out much of my childhood.  It's been really hard trying to relate to a woman who, for all intents and purposes, is just *out there*.  I love her to death, but man.  She needs to focus on taking care of herself and not spoiling my kids all the time.

Case in point, she took the kids to Walmart yesterday and they came home with new toys (she was asked to not buy them any the last time they came home with new toys), Em got a pair of shoes that were 1.5 sizes too big (and completely unnecessary), and there was a bunch of random stuff purchased that we already had.  Maybe I'm making too big of a deal about it, but why is a 65 year old woman kowtowing to a 3.5 yr old and 5 yr old?!?  I am baffled at why she allows them so much power at such a young age.

There is so much inconsistency and lack of boundaries that have gotten introduced in the last 4 months that has seemingly thrown our household into a crazy spin.  Granted, me being so sick and stuff the last 2 months hasn't helped, but it frustrates me that my normally reasonable kids seem to act out so much now.  We'll see if things level out while she's gone for a while.

I'm hoping the break will do us all some good and we can get Noah back into undies and potty trained, my stress level back to a reasonable one and to get the parent/child relationship back in check.  I know that mentally I've been having a tough time engaging with the kids and my mom because I've been so frustrated and angry that I just want to sit in isolation a great deal of the time.  I am also hoping to start doing some more exercise as my nausea & headaches seem to be lessening *knock on wood*. :)

Changing directions

It's been quite a while since I last posted.  I was doing fairly well on my weight loss until early April, when I discovered I was once again pregnant.  Since then, I've been yo-yoing - depending on how much food I was keeping down, but I am still pretty close to my pre-pregnancy weight of 150.  My goal is to not gain more than 15 lbs - which will be tough, but hopefully I can find some energy and start working out again soon.  I've been beyond exhausted and other than completing my first 5K (Run like a Fool in Oly) on 4/1, I've done hardly a thing active.  I really miss the pulse-pounding, sweat-inducing workouts, but I know I'd never make it right now.

I took on the job of executive vice president/registrar for Noah's preschool, so I have my work cut out for me for at least the next year.  Thankfully I took it over from an awesome, organized woman!  It's just nice that we're at nearly full enrollment, so at least we're only looking for a few more kids to fill by September.

Anyway, it's nice that at 12 weeks, I'm still wearing my normal clothes for the most part.  Granted, most of my jeans aren't super comfy, but I'm still wearing 8s/10s and medium stretchy pants, no maternity clothes yet.  Of course, I haven't popped yet, at least not unless I've eaten a bunch. :)  I just have to keep from thinking that I'm getting fat while not religiously tracking my food and not working out like a fiend.  As long as I keep my mind frame in a healthy state, I should be able to focus on continuing healthy eating and moderate exercise and not gain too much.  As a frame of reference, I was 135 when I got pregnant with Em, gained 50 lbs, was about 150-155 when I got pregnant with Noah and gained 30-35 lbs.  So if I can gain a smaller amount and be about where I am now post birth, I will be VERY pleased!