I did it!

I talked to Kyle briefly on Friday about my struggles to step up and take the tv time during the weekend to work out. I skipped my Friday workout, since I've still been fighting something. I also didn't work out yesterday. I was a little disappointed in myself yesterday, but I hadn't gotten much sleep, so I think I used it as an excuse to just be lazy. We did go to Target and walk around for a while, so I wasn't completely a bump on a log.

So today, I did 2 - 30 minute workouts. I did the cardio bootcamp by Kendell and then I also did a Disco Abs workout by Cheryl Burke. Eh...it was okay, but glad I didn't have that as my only workout. I think I'll either do Jillian's No More Trouble Zones or the Total Sculpt by Kendell.

My big goal for tonight is to get to sleep relatively soon. I was up until nearly 2am, then Noah woke up hungry, so I didn't truly get to sleep until around 2:45.

I'm really looking forward to Thanksgiving this year. I'm excited to be neither in the 1st or 3rd trimester of pregnancy - or pregnant at all really. ;o) This time last year, I was bursting at the seams and went to Labor & Delivery the day after Thanksgiving. Now I just need to be able to not eat too much and keep with my workouts.

I only have 2 weeks worth of prenatal vitamins left, so I think I'm going to work on weaning Noah to a whole milk/formula mixture in a sippy cup for the day starting this week and still nurse at night and first thing in the morning. My goal is to be fully weaned by the end of next week. I weaned Em the day before she turned 1, so I know I'll have no problems making it to Saturday or Sunday. I think I was more prepared to wean her than I am him. I think a great deal of it is tied to the fact he's more than likely our last baby and I am not quite ready to give him over to toddlerhood. I can't hold him back though, so I think I might keep the night nursing a little longer, but give up the rest for sure by his birthday.

Once I'm done nursing, I can cut back on my calorie intake and between that and no longer having that need to maintain weight, I should start dropping weight. It helps that I started out with the exercise first and am adding in the eating. I know I can cut back on calories with success. I've done it before. This is the first time I've gotten into a good rhythm with working out and setting a schedule and really building habits in.

The last thing I have to do is set up a schedule to use my light box to reinforce a healthy set of sleep habits and resetting my internal clock. It would ideally be awesome to get up early and workout before the kids get up. So we'll see!

Getting back into a groove

I have done workouts 3 days in a row. Yay! I've officially blown last week out of the water. :o) So now I just have two more days to go until the dreaded weekend. I still haven't come up with a plan, and it's killing me.

Last weekend: Saturday: Either Em was watching tv or Kyle was playing Halo.

Sunday: Football or Em's shows.

When am I gonna grow a pair and request some tv time on the weekend?!?!

I told Em today that I need the time to exercise because if I don't, I am sad and don't feel good about myself. Then I asked her if she wanted me to be happy mommy, or grumpy mommy. She responded happy mommy, then laid down for her nap. How sweet!

So now it's figuring out why I don't feel worthy of asking for what I need to be successful. I guess it's partly because what I wanted or needed always seemed to be contingent on if someone else deemed them important enough. My mom was my biggest advocate making sure that I got to take dance & piano lessons and go to Europe on two high school trips and to the east coast in jr high on a school trip as well. Someone else always fought with her on that. She would use her disability money from Japan on me to make sure I got to experience things and actually enjoy my youth a bit.

I think I'll talk to Kyle about it, since I'm sure he has no idea how I feel about it and it honestly is me just not saying anything. I'm sure if I ask, he'll be more than happy to take a break for however long I need. He's awesome and so supportive, I just need to tell him that I need something. :o)

Well, I have MOPs tomorrow, our speaker is talking about that very thing and not being everything to everyone and putting ourselves last during the holidays. Go figure! Time to get my evite sent out and plan for Noah's birthday party. It's coming up quick and I feel so unprepared!

Night!!!

Stalling out

So it's Saturday night and I've worked out a total of 1 day this week, and that was Monday. What?!? I've been feeling under the weather most of the week - vertigo makes working out pretty tough. Anyway, I feel gross and grouchy, so clearly, my body is going through workout withdrawals. The other annoying thing is it seems darling Flo is back already. Um, seriously, take a vacation (that doesn't end with me having another baby).

I really need to get back on the ball with my workouts. The challenge has been with getting Em down for naps and then making sure I have some time to do the workouts. Of course, deciding to watch DVR'd shows probably didn't help either.

Anyway, just wanted to update on my non-progress and mention the scale was back up to 161.6 on Wednesday. Grrrr... Need to drink lots of water. That is 65% of the problem - water retention.

Need to get to bed!

B for Effort

So yesterday's workout was a family walk to the grocery store - I did push Noah there in the stroller and most of the way back (with one arm and a coffee in the other). Otherwise, the tv was either on Em's stuff or Halo. Joy. Anyway, today wasn't starting out any better. Plus, I woke up feeling hungover - I'm dehydrated. So it's almost midnight now. I decided at 10:45 that I would do some yoga. Of course, right before I get started, Noah wakes up hungry.

I did the yoga routine, my hips hurt now and I still feel sick and I'm crabby, so I think it's time to get to bed. Cardio tomorrow. Please let Kendell put me in a good mood or I may just cry all afternoon. Did I mention that AF seems to be trying to make an encore? Seriously!?! If it doesn't get better by March, this stupid IUD is coming out and I'll go on seasonique or something. I take enough pills at night, what is one more? *eye roll*

Goals for tomorrow:

Get back to drinking a lot of water

Do Cardio

If I am still crabby - blog or write a journal entry about it and move on.

*crickets*

Okay, so I managed to disappear from the blog for a while. I've been in a bit of a funk (courtesy of not taking meds over the weekend and other stuff) and just didn't feel like I had much to say. I've gotten two solid workouts in this week, but I've been dealing with equilibrium garbage that I think is a lovely result of my flu-ish thing from a while back.

I really need to make a plan for this weekend. This is always where I get derailed and I really need to stop it. If I can't get a good plan of action in now, how in the world will I do it while I'm also curbing the calorie-fest I'm having now. Don't worry, not too many calories all the time, but not really tracking/logging/journaling food right now.

I did have a great thing happen today. I went into the closet and pulled out a cute shirt I got a couple years ago that fit, except for in the arms. Well, I put it on today, and while a tiny bit snug, it fit fine and I wore it to MOPs. It shows that my body is shrinking, even from before being pregnant with Noah. YAY!!! I am even more confident now that I am doing this the correct way for me.

I realize that life happens and situations will throw off my schedule and I need to be able to work around it more than I have in the past. You'd think with two small children I would know that by now, but it's amazing how much I seemed to expect them to conform to what I wanted. Now that Noah & Em tend to take their afternoon naps at the same time, I can give myself a solid hour. Of course, yesterday, I let Em play on the laptop while I worked out. I think it's good to let her watch me sweat and grunt and really push myself - and NOT complain about it. It did give me a boost at the end when she told me I did a great job and was willing to sit and play on the computer (Thanks to my friend Jacob from HS for recommending babysmash.com) so I could shower. I think the rest of that train of thought belongs on the other blog.
LOL

Anyhow, I wrote to Anne, my MOPs mentor mom, and asked her to pray for me. These are the areas I mentioned:

• Peace & patience with Em
• Feelings of guilt surrounding my temper
• A cool head when dealing with the tantrums and Em pushing my buttons
• Dealing with issues from my past manifesting in my emotions

I've really been struggling the last month or so, with outburts of anger at Em. I feel horribly ashamed. This is the type of behavior that my father gave me that I swore I'd never repeat, yet here I am. The catch is that I also like to sit and stew on things as well - a trait from my mom. The main issue is that I seem to forget that Em is only 2.5 and that there are so many things she is still just learning. I guess since I spend so much time with her, I forget the obvious things. I want to stop the cycle of mean-ness and anger. I want to be loving and constructive with discipline. I haven't been able to reign it in lately and follow along the Love & Logic principles I fell in love with a while back. I suppose I really should look into taking the classes when Liann next offers them. I think they would be invaluable to me. I'm not sure if I can talk Kyle into going with me, but the $75 or $100 for the 4 week course would be so helpful. It's really important for me to be on the same page as him and work as a team, but so often, I feel like I'm floundering at home when he's at work. I'm tired a lot and it's so difficult keeping up with two mobile kids who aren't fully in control of their faculties (i.e potty trained, old enough to dress themselves unsupervised, able to operate the remote, prepare their own food). ;o)

So I'll have to see what he thinks. I definitely think I should go to these, even if I have to pay $40 for the kids to be watched for all 4 classes and go by myself on Friday afternoons. Plus, if I go Friday afternoons, I don't have to "graduate" from the classes on my 30th birthday. LOL

It's getting super late and I need to get some sleep. The time change has been royally messing with my sleep habits. Why it means I stay up even later is beyond me. I just know that my former 8:30 sleep in time being pushed back to 7-7:15 has been rough, since I haven't been in bed and asleep before 11:30 in over a week.

TGIF!!! I'm going to work on a game plan for the weekends and get it blogged so I can try harder to stick to it. Plus, then I have it where I can see it, tweak it and hopefully follow it and make it an additional part of my routine. Ideally, once spring arrives, I can modify it to mean family time outdoors being active. Hopefully that will work with a 1 yr old & a 3 yr old. ;o) I'm picturing family hikes. Perhaps my birthday present for #30 should be the parking pass for all the parks so if I want, I can take the kids on some hikes during the week. I'll have to get strong enough to wear the big backpack with Noah in it, plus carry stuff. Maybe I'll stick to things I can use the jogging stroller on. LOL