9 Down, 10-11 to go

Shots that is.  Today was the 9th shot.  They're not too bad at all anymore.  Thank goodness! :)  The other good news is that after my last ultrasound, I graduated from Maternal Fetal Medicine because the reasons I was referred have not materialized.  Definitely a relief!  I'm hoping that the 17P is working and I can get through the next 11 weeks at least.  I'm due in 14 weeks from yesterday, 11 weeks puts me at 37 weeks and if I went at my previous gestation, I'd be welcoming a baby girl in 8.5 weeks.  Not nearly that ready! ;)

Fighting a cold, contending with both external kids starting school.  My first baby is in kindergarten!  She's adjusting well.  I wish I could say the same for Noah.  His first day was okay - one meltdown.  Monday was okay, but he didn't want to clean up his snack.  Today, meltdown city.  Definitely made me shocked and slightly embarrassed that he behaved so badly.  Hopefully he'll improve as he gets used to be apart from me more and more.  I'm also hopeful that he'll start to enjoy having friends instead of always telling me they make him mad.

Back to working out, mostly

While it's not super frequent, very vigorous, nor very long in duration, I've pulled myself up by my shoelaces and started doing some exercise.  I am working hard to stop feeling sorry for myself and take advantage of the fact I still have maybe 6 more weeks of energy to exercise in a way that is more than just simple walking and stretching.  I'm still tired a lot, but on my walk the other day, Em joined me for most of my mile-ish walk.  It was nice having a little bit of time to exercise together and she rode her bike for the last 1/4 of a mile.

We have another appointment with maternal fetal medicine coming up on Friday, so another ultrasound, and then a chat with the high-risk OB.  Then I have an appt with my regular OB on the Thursday afterward.  Then it's every 2 weeks with the regular OB & one more appt with the high risk dr in September.  So hopefully everything will check out okay (meaning no *activity* with my body) and we can just keep on as normal for the next month.

Definitely feeling the baby kick a lot more - and more definite kicks and jabs versus the rolling movement.  Hoping the kids and Kyle will be able to feel them from the outside soon.  So we still have 13-18.5 weeks left until the baby comes.  The wide window is just in case the progesterone shots don't work and I have this baby in the same time frame as Em & Noah.  Obviously, I'm hoping that it will be closer to 16-18 weeks that I have left.

Stomach bugs and other stuff

Well, there is nothing so sad as to have a horrible stomach bug land you in the ER when you're nearly 20 weeks pregnant.  I was 2 days shy of the cut off to go up to labor & delivery.  *sigh*  Oh well.  At least 2 IV bags, some Zofran and some Bentyl and I was able to go home to sleep - nearly 6 hrs after I came in.  So here I am, 2.5 days later, still sore, still tired & still moderately dehydrated.  At least I've been able to wean myself off the meds and for now am just dealing with angry ab muscles for the intense workout they were given.  I finally started eating regular food around dinner last night - it had been the usual, dry toast, chicken soup, crackers - and so far, so good.

The good news is that baby girl is 100% fine through it all.  Just glad the nurse called to reschedule my injection to Friday, since the last thing I want is to get poked with another needle while I still feel like a zombie.

Speaking of injections, the second one was much better than the first.  It helps to not be completely psyched out by what to expect and to not have a major case of sciatic pain before the injection.  Hopefully as my body gets used to them, I'll notice them less and less.  It did seem to cut back on the intensity of my braxton hicks contractions as well.  So I know the next couple of days will mean more cramping as I have to wait an extra 2 days for the injection.  Joy.

I seem to be having a major crisis of emotions.  I miss my intense, heart-pounding workouts.  I miss the endorphins, the pride of accomplishment, and feeling strong and fit.  I know that my body is doing what it needs to do to help grow a healthy baby, but it's driving me nuts.  Granted, I did squeeze into a pair of size 8 jeans and non-maternity clothes last week, but that mid-pregnancy brain chemical shift is making me see things with such a skewed sense.  I know I should just do what workouts I can and be happy to do something, but it depresses me to get winded walking 2 mph when I was doing great running 5-7 mph just 4 months ago.  Wow, it was only 4 months since I ran my 5K?  It feels like a lifetime ago.  Honestly, I've only gained 10-12 lbs and at 20 weeks, it's not too bad of a weight gain.  Most of it is securely attached to my baby belly and chest and not elsewhere, but just seeing hard-toned muscles get soft again makes me sad.

It's annoying to be throwing myself a pity party about it, but I went into this pregnancy thinking it would be different.  Well, it is, but in the opposite way I thought.  I've been sicker, more tired, more sullen and more withdrawn.  I'm definitely not one of those women who thrives on being pregnant.  I'm still learning to not begrudge them of their good fortune, just praying my girls will be more like them and less like me. ;)

Oh yeah, I didn't mention we're having another girl, did I?  We don't have a name picked out yet, but we're getting close.  2 more weeks and we'll get another sneak peek at her when we trek back to Olympia for another MFM check.  Hopefully things will still be calm down there and I won't have a date with a needle to close things up until my shots are done.  I have nothing against the procedure, just mostly against having to have a needle anywhere near my spine after the debacle with my epidural having Noah.  Spinal headaches are NOT my friend.

My tummy's rumbling, so I should be off to find something to eat.  At least I'm hungry, right?

My first date with 17P injection

Today, at 17w6d, I had my first injection of 17P (it has a long scientific name, but it's a progesterone compound in Castor oil).  Ow!  It was a relatively painful injection, mostly because it is thick and takes a while to fully inject in the muscle tissue.  Of course, the burning subsided not too long after the injection, so imagine my surprise as about 30 minutes later, while making the kids dinner, it started majorly hurting.  In fact, I reheated the heating pad and strapped it on while in the kitchen.  Yowza!  And I still have 19 more injections to go until I'm done! :oO
My mid-back has been pretty sore lately and I'm definitely getting the the first level of discomfort, not to be confused with the all-encompassing, massive discomfort to come as I run out of room and end up as large as a house.
Tomorrow I will be 18 weeks, meaning it's that magical time at my next ultrasound (Friday!) that I find out whether I am baking a little boy or a little girl.  I also get to find out if my body is working with or against me and if I need further intervention to keep baking the baby to full term.  I'm oddly very calm about finding out the gender.
Perhaps it is having one of each already that makes it seem slightly anti-climactic, but the "planning" side of me needs to know.  We got rid of almost all of our baby stuff - we have a crib, the matching changing table and the double jogging stroller, and that is it.  The smallest clothes I think are 18-24 mos in boys and 3T in girls.  Um, yeah...not super prepared here.  It's funny that after 4 years, it feels slightly like starting over again.  It will be so weird to have tiny clothes, tiny diapers, and all the wonderful things that will fill up our house yet again.
So I suppose I'll be back to post this weekend and give the gender verdict.  Until then, I'll be hanging with my new BFF - my heat pad. :)

Let the poking begin...almost

I will be 16 weeks tomorrow, which is that "magical" number.  I start weekly progesterone shots (17P - progesterone in oil) in the next week.  I'm waiting on a call from a nurse to set up the schedule, but hopefully we can get it all sorted out.  I'm not looking forward to these injections, but if that means this baby comes out AFTER 36 weeks, I will be a happy camper.  Granted, the size they were, it might mean for a much bigger baby come L&D time, but I think I can handle it.  Oh yeah, did I mention unless I have to have a c section, I'm absolutely skipping the epidural this time?  After the spinal headache from my epi with Noah, I'd rather just have the pain.  I'll just have to discuss post delivery pain management before hand, that was where I struggled with Em.
I've been trying to workout a couple of times a week, well, I intended to do more, but either headaches, nausea or laziness got the better of me. ;)  I'm just determined to be the strongest I can be during this pregnancy.  I mean, hitting the ground running with workouts once I get the all clear would be awesome.  It honestly has more to do with mental well-being and just a general feeling of wellness rather than trying to lose baby weight.  I really miss running and how great I would feel after a good run.  It kills me that I get exhausted just walking a mile (in 1 flipping hour) on the treadmill.  My weights routine yesterday killed and it wasn't nearly as hard as I used to do.  Man!  Talk about feeling out of shape.  But the round of braxton hicks contractions after I was done reminded me why I'm taking it slower.  We'll see if the 17P injections help to keep the BHs at bay more than with Noah.
Well, since I got woken up early from a phone call, I am going to take a little nap.  I need to shake this headache before it's time to take the kids to summer camp!

Take a hike yak!

I have many dear lady friends that I met through babycenter.com what feels like eons ago (really, over the last 6.5 years) and one of the things we love to hate is the yak - aka morning sickness, etc.  Well, I am 15 weeks pregnant today and to celebrate, I threw up a few times.  Joy.  I haven't been sick in a few weeks, so I'm pretty annoyed.  I tell you, I was not prepared for the difference 4 years would make in the being pregnant department.

I start 17P injections (progesterone) sometime starting after next Wednesday.  So not looking forward to them, but hopefully they'll do the trick to get this little one to full term (36 wks at least).  I did do the math, however, and if I deliver in the same time frame as the other two, I have 19.5 weeks to go.  Wow, that doesn't sound very long.

I did a prenatal workout the other day and felt great, until I folded a bunch of laundry, then proceeded to end up all knotted in my upper back.  I've been meaning to do some yoga, but I haven't made the time or my body hasn't cooperated (see yak).  I mean, who wants to focus on yoga stretching and breathing when you're mostly trying not to be sick or to cope with a nasty headache?

It is amusing coming up on my 10th wedding anniversary on Friday to be pregnant with our 3rd child.  It will be 3 more weeks until we know the gender.  I'm finally getting to the point where I am impatient to know.  It doesn't matter to me if it is a boy or a girl, I'm just tired of the unknown.  I'd like to start calling the baby by it's name, refer to it as brother or sister and not "both" while talking to the kids.

I'm hoping that at some point I'll feel better and be less prone to whining and ranting.  I guess it's just hard when you feel like you're making progress only to back slide unexpectedly.  Besides, nausea & headaches are the discomforts I tolerate the least.  Coupled with sore back and not sleeping well, I'm just a cranky mess.  I'm just hopeful that I'll feel more like myself and not trapped in some alien body, being a spectator on  my life.

Mental Challenges

I started keeping a journal back in December and it was really helpful at being my venting board, but I stopped at the end of April when my morning (ALL DAY) sickness and massive fatigue took over.  It's been  6-7 weeks and wow, I am so tense, stressed and generally grumpy.  I know that a lot of it is dealing with my mom living with us and the adjustments that seem to be taking a long time to fall into place.

I honestly must have mentally blocked out much of my childhood.  It's been really hard trying to relate to a woman who, for all intents and purposes, is just *out there*.  I love her to death, but man.  She needs to focus on taking care of herself and not spoiling my kids all the time.

Case in point, she took the kids to Walmart yesterday and they came home with new toys (she was asked to not buy them any the last time they came home with new toys), Em got a pair of shoes that were 1.5 sizes too big (and completely unnecessary), and there was a bunch of random stuff purchased that we already had.  Maybe I'm making too big of a deal about it, but why is a 65 year old woman kowtowing to a 3.5 yr old and 5 yr old?!?  I am baffled at why she allows them so much power at such a young age.

There is so much inconsistency and lack of boundaries that have gotten introduced in the last 4 months that has seemingly thrown our household into a crazy spin.  Granted, me being so sick and stuff the last 2 months hasn't helped, but it frustrates me that my normally reasonable kids seem to act out so much now.  We'll see if things level out while she's gone for a while.

I'm hoping the break will do us all some good and we can get Noah back into undies and potty trained, my stress level back to a reasonable one and to get the parent/child relationship back in check.  I know that mentally I've been having a tough time engaging with the kids and my mom because I've been so frustrated and angry that I just want to sit in isolation a great deal of the time.  I am also hoping to start doing some more exercise as my nausea & headaches seem to be lessening *knock on wood*. :)

Changing directions

It's been quite a while since I last posted.  I was doing fairly well on my weight loss until early April, when I discovered I was once again pregnant.  Since then, I've been yo-yoing - depending on how much food I was keeping down, but I am still pretty close to my pre-pregnancy weight of 150.  My goal is to not gain more than 15 lbs - which will be tough, but hopefully I can find some energy and start working out again soon.  I've been beyond exhausted and other than completing my first 5K (Run like a Fool in Oly) on 4/1, I've done hardly a thing active.  I really miss the pulse-pounding, sweat-inducing workouts, but I know I'd never make it right now.

I took on the job of executive vice president/registrar for Noah's preschool, so I have my work cut out for me for at least the next year.  Thankfully I took it over from an awesome, organized woman!  It's just nice that we're at nearly full enrollment, so at least we're only looking for a few more kids to fill by September.

Anyway, it's nice that at 12 weeks, I'm still wearing my normal clothes for the most part.  Granted, most of my jeans aren't super comfy, but I'm still wearing 8s/10s and medium stretchy pants, no maternity clothes yet.  Of course, I haven't popped yet, at least not unless I've eaten a bunch. :)  I just have to keep from thinking that I'm getting fat while not religiously tracking my food and not working out like a fiend.  As long as I keep my mind frame in a healthy state, I should be able to focus on continuing healthy eating and moderate exercise and not gain too much.  As a frame of reference, I was 135 when I got pregnant with Em, gained 50 lbs, was about 150-155 when I got pregnant with Noah and gained 30-35 lbs.  So if I can gain a smaller amount and be about where I am now post birth, I will be VERY pleased!

Miss me?

Well, having no internet at home makes for a tough time trying to keep my blogs up to date. I have been diligently working on my weight loss, sometimes more than others. :)

I am currently down 39.2 lbs and 35.75 inches since I started. I have 29.4 lbs left to reach goal. Of course, Kyle and I are also thinking about our family and if we would like it to be larger. We agreed that it would be nice if we were blessed with another baby, so I'm still losing until I need to maintain. This seems oddly familiar to 6 years ago when I was in pretty much the same situation. LOL

I've been working closely with my ARNP to keep my depression (seasonal & clinical) in check and I must say this winter has been LOADS better than last year. I think it also helps that I've been working out more and that I adore running. :)

I'll try not to let 6 months go between blogs again, but I'm alive, I'm doing well and hopefully I'll either reach goal or have a reason to postpone it for a year. :)