1 week down

So last week I really worked hard. I exercised Mon-Thurs. Friday, I took a day off because we were getting up early and trekking down to the in laws who would watch the kids while Kyle and I were off at our retreat for the weekend. I fully intended to exercise Saturday & Sunday, intended to eat carefully and intended to be back on my A game as of Monday. HAH! I was up until lord knows how early Saturday morning, so I was not having any nonsense of getting up early. I did get to sleep earlier on Saturday night, but still was in no mood to do anything on Sunday morning. No clue how much I ate, I just know it was a lot. :o(

It was great to have some time away from the kids, sadly, I was back to bickering with Kyle by the time we landed back in Tacoma from the ferry. I've been really struggling with a lot of stuff that happened when I was younger - lots of unresolved feelings of betrayal, abandonment and many other unpleasant stuff. We had a good talk for most of the way back to T-town, but I'm just not in the greatest emotional place at the moment. I'm hypersensitive and very argumentative lately. Doesn't help that Em is a carbon copy of those traits and so the two of us butt heads like it was the newest fad. :o(

Perhaps a good chunk of it was that I was looking forward to a low key birthday party for Em at home the weekend after Easter, but instead, Kyle agreed to going to Camp Bethel to help at the spring youth retreat without even checking dates. So Em's 3rd birthday party will be with a few of our friends, but mostly people I vaguely know and a bunch of kids I don't know at all. Am I bitter? Getting there pretty darn fast. With Easter coming up next weekend, Melody & Bob heading to Cabo the 16th, there is no time for Em's family party until sometime in May. Um, awesome. Yeah, she may not care, but I kind of do. She doesn't quite understand that Grandma, Grandpa, Jen and others in our family won't be there. Kyle doesn't seem to grasp that it bugs the heck out of me. Of course, he spent a good chunk of the weekend sulking about having to work in Bremerton Monday & Tuesday, so I suspect there could have been an alien landing and he wouldn't have noticed. :o\

I'm not one for typically airing our dirty laundry for the world to see, but recently, I've been spending a lot of time pretending to be dealing with life okay. Honestly, not so much. There is a ton of stuff up in the air right now - if/where we're moving, if Kyle might find a new (and better) job, if he'll get his dream job and we'll move to the edge of the earth...(not literally, though the WA coast is pretty darn close).

I have a lot more to say, but I need to spend some time coloring with Em.