Things that make you go hmmm...

Well, it's the "last chance workout day" and I haven't done a single workout in the first week of my weight loss challenge. Do I intend to today? Would it make me feel better? No, and yes. I am in a major funk today. My hormones are all over the place, doesn't help my lovely visitor is back on her every 2 weeks garbage. :o( I am currently down 1.2 lbs from last week, just by starting to curb my eating, but I feel like I'm letting my team down by sitting in my pjs all the time. I still can't shake this cold thing. Thankfully my throat is a little tiny bit better right now, but my bronchial tubes are irritated and I'm just worried if I start working out, that I'll end up with bronchitis from not resting. I took a couple Dayquil last night (worried I'd be super groggy all day if I took Nyquil) and managed to do halfway decent sleep-wise (helped Noah slept through!).

We all woke up by 7am this morning, but I promptly fell asleep snuggled with Em on the couch at 9, got Noah down for his nap at 10 and then fell back asleep with Em on my lap until 11, then got her fed, got Noah up and fed and I'm still so groggy. I'm starting to wonder if I have chronic fatigue syndrome. It wouldn't surprise me, as it has been linked to the Epstein-Barr virus and it started in earnest after I got sick in December.

I am so ready for this cruddy weather to take a hike already. I wanted to take the kids for a walk, but it was insanely windy for a week, now it's rainy and gross out. So I haven't done anything. I just want calm weather that is dry so we can all get out. You'd think being a NW native that I wouldn't mind walking in the rain, but being sick and with the kids, not such a big fan. Of course, right now the two most appealing places I'd like to be are either in a hot bath or snuggled in bed. Either is not an option with both kids awake. :o(

I just wish that I wasn't struggling so much right now. It really saps my self esteem to feel like I am letting everything else control me, or dictate what I do. I hate depression and need to fight it, I just am so tired, I can't manage to.