Clothes

I am working on packing up our house, slowly. Today, I packed up all of my skinny clothes. There were tons of size 6 & 8 pants, skirts, size small tops and I miss them! I went on a shopping spree about 1 month before I got pregnant with Em and subsequently grew out of them within a few weeks after finding out. I have such cute skirts, so many pairs of Lucky Brand jeans, my mint green XS North Face vest. I cannot wait to hit next spring/summer and be at goal. That may mean some of those clothes might even be too big! Either way, I am so thrilled to have the opportunity to shop out of my own clothes as I get thinner.

This time I am 100% determined to make this work. I may need to increase my anti-depressant dosage at my next appt to help that. I've noticed my motivation is waning, along with my coping skills. I do fine as long as the sun is out, but on days like today, where it's dark & gray, I just want to go back to bed or have it be quiet. I'm feeling so much better than 6 weeks ago, but I know that this still isn't where I need to be. I'm just grateful that I'm aware enough of my emotions to know that I need to be my own advocate and to speak up if something is wrong.

I know that once we have moved into the new house and I have more space, things will help. I'm so claustrophobic in our apartment with the two kids and dog constantly underfoot, that having over double the space will be a much needed relief. I'm really looking forward to having a fully enclosed room for Kyle & I again and for having 2 bathrooms and for the kids to have their own rooms. I'm excited to have my treadmill in my house to use whenever I want, regardless of groups being at camp. I'm most excited about a house that is not on the main camp property. No guests waking the kids up from naps/sleep, no dog barking all day while groups are here, privacy for our family.

I better go find a snack, then get back to packing. While I have time, I shouldn't waste it and then rush at the end. It would be great to avoid procrastinating for once. ;)