Heartbroken

Today is a hellish day. Em's been fighting and throwing tantrums all morning. I feel like throwing in the towel and hiding in bed for the rest of the day. I'm close to tears and it's all I can do to keep Noah from realizing just how sad I am. I feel like a terrible mother and that I'm doing something severely wrong that my daughter is so mean to me and so disobedient. I shouldn't desperately want to be away from them so much, but I feel like her sole purpose right now is to hit me where it hurts.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I pray, but I feel like it's not helping enough. I feel like I just am the worst person in the world lately. I know I shouldn't just sit and wallow around in self-pity, but when everyday feels like a constant onslaught from toddler-tudes, I can't help but take it personally. Just pray for me and hopefully this phase won't last too much longer.

At least I'm not stress eating. I don't feel like eating at all. Lost my appetite and just feel like shutting down and being alone. I know it will get better, but I don't know how much longer I can cope with this. :o(