Week 16 - Plateau land

Well, the inevitable happened - I had my first weight gain today. Granted, it was only 0.2 lbs, but it makes me a little sad that after 15 weeks of losses, it's my first weight speed bump. However, I did lose 4.5 inches in the last month. :)

So as it stands, in 16 weeks, I've lost 22.2 lbs and lost 25.75 inches. I've lost 9.5" off my waist, 5" off my hips, 5.25" off my thighs, 2" off my bust & 4" off my arms. I'm thrilled with how much I've shrunk, but I do have a long way to go. This is the part that I need to focus on. Yes, I've lost a lot, but I still have 48.2 lbs to lose to hit my goal. I'm only 1/3 of the way on my loss part of the journey.

I'm hoping that I've gotten the tail end of this cold gone and I can get really focused again. Granted, I have a move coming up in the next week and a half and I have to focus on packing and getting the apartment cleaned up while having my mom visit and getting preschool stuff ready for the kids. I'm determined not to let life get me down.

I am a runner!

So the inevitable has happened. I've become a runner. I may be a slow runner, but I am a runner, nevertheless. :) I've been running intervals over the last 4 months and today, I decided to try and run slower and longer and not necessarily faster. I slowed down to 5.0 mph and managed to run 15 mins straight. The longest before was about 8 mins, so I was stoked! After that, I ran 3:1 intervals for 3 sets, then dropped to 2:1 for a while, then 1:1 until I hit 37 mins total. It was tough, but do I think I pushed myself as hard as I could? Probably not. What?!? Well, if I'm being completely honest, I could have probably run longer than 15 mins, but I stopped and started intervals because that is what is comfortable. I also got blisters around 30 mins, so that also didn't help, but I did have to start speeding up some of the intervals because it was the only thing that would boost the endorphin levels to get me past the pain threshold.

Either way, I am proud of my progress. 4 months ago, I don't think I could even comprehend the patience it takes to run at least 37 mins in a run. I was tired just running 5 mins out of a 35 min treadmill session. I'm excited to see what happens when I can afford to replace my running shoes. Without those blisters and with better running performance, I bet I can really get moving! I was tempted to try for a 10K tonight, but decided to stop before I made hamburger out of my feet. ;) Oh, and when I'm on the treadmill, I probably spend only 1 entire minute hanging on to the treadmill - I'm a hands of runner. :) It feels good to hurt through my core from the effort to run.

I'm looking forward to getting more runs in and getting stronger and building a stronger cardiovascular system. I think once I can re-establish more whole-food eating with more fruits, veggies and whole grains, I'll definitely jump-start the weight loss again and be on my way to a tiny me. :)

Week 15 - Managing

I'm tired, frustrated and in high need of a kick-butt workout. I was down 0.8 lbs this week, despite hardly working out - had a 5 day break because of a cold. I ate quite a bit and felt generally quite blah. I've managed to step up the workouts by at least having them the last few days, but I am not in the game mentally.

Problem 1 - AF/TOM/the Crimson tide...whatever you call it, it's visiting after a 4.25 month absence (thank you Seasonale!). I'm feeling sluggish, tired, grumpy and unmotivated. Thankfully, I decided to wash my bedding or I'd most likely be in bed instead of in my workout clothes blogging. I need to get to my workout in a few minutes, but thought I'd post before I forgot about this week's post.

Problem 2 - The humid, gray weather. We've had some sun, but nothing that lasts very long and my SAD seems to be continuing on into the summer. UGH! It was beautiful yesterday afternoon when I went for a short trail run, and it was clear last night when I was stargazing through the sky light above our bed at 3:30 (Thanks Noah).

Problem 3 - The lingering cold. I'm still a little stuffy & runny nosed, but nothing compared to last week or the week before.

So hopefully as the week goes on, I'll feel a bit better and feel more motivated. I'm in a mental slump and just don't feel like food journaling and working out. I still do it, but it doesn't hold as much of the positive nature that it did before camp started. Granted, the slow-down in my weight loss is probably part of that - something that reigning in the stress eating and fattening, higher calorie stuff I've been eating more of would help out with. I'm just grateful I'm under 50 lbs left to goal weight. I've lost 22.4 of the 70.4 lbs I needed to lose. So 48 lbs left. I only have to do what I've done about 2 more times. That makes it seem more doable.

Well, enough talk, I better get to my workout!

Week 14 - That's more like it

I lost another 2 lbs this week for a total of 21.4 in the last 14 weeks. :) I'm really curious to see what my measurements are next week since it seems like I suddenly got skinnier in the last week.

Definitely glad to have my mojo back after being sick. That cold seemed to sap my will power and made me crave sugar like nothing else. Thankfully I'm back in control and only have 2 days left of camp food. As long as I keep my workouts up, I should be in a good spot through the week.

Back to my mountain of laundry and my coffee. I'm hoping the clouds burn off and the sun comes out soon. The kids haven't been the best listeners today, so I'm going to get off the computer for a while and see if that helps. :)

Week 13 - Um...

Yeah, so I lost 0.2 lbs this week. Wow, that was lame. I had been down over 1 lb earlier in the week, but eating camp food for more than a few days is not good for my weight loss. I vaguely remember losing 0.2 lbs after the Memorial Day work weekend at camp, so I should have expected this. Of course, I also did eat 64 activity points that I earned plus 39 of my 49 weekly points in addition to my 29 daily points. Yeowza!

So anyway, I will be continuing to workout this week and continue to drink lots of water and focus on the fruits/veggies and less on the other parts of the meal and try to forgo dessert a little more. We are having churros tonight, and that is a huge weakness of mine, since they are so tasty!

I'll probably be back later to post more.

Week 12 - Taking names

So at the end of 3 months, I've lost 19.4 lbs and 21.25". So from my dr appt 2 weeks before I started WW, I've lost over 22 lbs! I lost 1.6 lbs this week and passed my 10% goal.

I don't have a lot to say, though I do get to have 2 weeks between chiro appts, so my back & hips are improving! I ran this past week and look forward to doing it again soon, but will continue with strength training.

Week 11 - Getting comfy

I lost another pound this week, bringing me to 17.8 lbs on WW. I seem to be hitting my stride and haven't struggled too much with what to eat or how much exercise to get. I know that I need to rest and I do, I know I need to exercise and I do and I know that I should make sure that I'm eating enough fruits and veggies and drinking enough water. I know that drinking lots of alcohol or eating lots of salt will kill my weigh ins and I know that I feel better when well hydrated and when I'm not depriving myself.

I've been wearing my size 10 jeans for 10 days now and although I can only wear 1 pair of them, they're definitely getting more comfortable. I feel my thighs getting tighter and the legs of the jeans not being skin tight anymore. :) I am still working through my hip and back issues - hips are tight, I have ribs in my mid-back that like to pop out of place and subsequently, things between those two places tend to get locked up frequently. I haven't gotten back to running, but might give it a try once this group leaves and I can get my treadmill back out. We'll see how I'm feeling by the end of the week though. My mid-back is already starting to get sore and I just had my adjustment yesterday and won't have another one until next Monday. It would be helpful if I didn't have kids pulling on my shoulders and upper torso or constantly whining, causing me to tense up.

Heartbroken

Today is a hellish day. Em's been fighting and throwing tantrums all morning. I feel like throwing in the towel and hiding in bed for the rest of the day. I'm close to tears and it's all I can do to keep Noah from realizing just how sad I am. I feel like a terrible mother and that I'm doing something severely wrong that my daughter is so mean to me and so disobedient. I shouldn't desperately want to be away from them so much, but I feel like her sole purpose right now is to hit me where it hurts.

I just don't know what to do anymore. I pray, but I feel like it's not helping enough. I feel like I just am the worst person in the world lately. I know I shouldn't just sit and wallow around in self-pity, but when everyday feels like a constant onslaught from toddler-tudes, I can't help but take it personally. Just pray for me and hopefully this phase won't last too much longer.

At least I'm not stress eating. I don't feel like eating at all. Lost my appetite and just feel like shutting down and being alone. I know it will get better, but I don't know how much longer I can cope with this. :o(

I'd like to exchange my back please

So today was my 2nd chiropractic adjustment and my lower back has already tightened back up. I'm ticked off! Granted, a big part of the problem is my kids have stressed me out to the point all the muscles in my shoulders are tight too. I'm having a hard time dealing with stress this week and I'm very tired. I tried to take a nap to stave off a headache, but the kids climbed over, then knocked over the gate to the stairs and kept coming upstairs and whispering (in that kid not quiet whisper) plus playing with what seemed every loud toy we own.

As I sit here and type this, I keep yawning, causing tears to stream down my face. This is an affliction I've suffered as long as I can remember and it's really annoying when people ask me what's wrong only to reply, "I'm tired and I yawned". The looks I get are priceless.

I just realized that tomorrow is the last day I can workout in the retreat center next door. There is a large group here starting Sunday afternoon and they'll be here until Saturday, when the site staff get to camp. I guess I can ask Kyle if he can move the treadmill to the house or clear some stuff from the living room and move it in here. The prospect of only having my little living room to work out in for the next 2 weeks makes me want to cry. Of course, knowing I'll be woken up by loud foreign language praise singing at 6 am all next week also makes me want to cry. I am NOT a morning person and being woken up is a sure way to turn me into a dragon lady. ;) I guess I'll just have to remember my headphones upstairs and cancel out the noise with my own music.

I think tonight calls for a hot bath, a date with the ice pack and some benedryl. My sinuses hurt and I need to get some sleep tonight.

Week 10 - Still trucking

I weighed in a day later this week because we were out of town on Tuesday morning. I was down 0.6 lbs this morning. I'm grateful I lost because I ate a lot of salty food over the weekend and didn't get a ton of hard working out in. I painted stamps & stencils in Em's room and I painted 2 walls in Noah's room white between Saturday & Sunday. On Monday, we celebrated the 4th with our friends and stayed up late!

Yesterday, I ate a lot better and drank a ton of water and managed to get rid of all that salt. I had my first chiropractic adjustment today. I had 2 ribs out of alignment in my mid-back and both of my hips were locked and my pelvis was off on my right side. Nothing too surprising to me. I'm starting to get sore, but I also did Jillian Michaels' No More Trouble Zones this afternoon, so that might be partly to blame. ;) I hit the treadmill and failed miserably, but at least I tried! I walked 5 mins, ran 1, walked 2 and was done. The running caused my right external hip rotator to lock up a bit. I'll be icing after dinner and hopefully won't be in too much pain tomorrow. It feels like my ribs are slipping back out, but I know that it isn't a quick fix and it will take time to retrain my body to work properly.

Week 9 - By the skin

...of my teeth, I eked out a 1 lb loss. I ate with reckless abandon (okay, restrained abandon haha) this weekend, using 56 pts on Saturday and nearly as many on Sunday. Yeowza! I got on the scale yesterday morning and saw 172.8. Not good! So I drank 12 cups of water and did a kicking cardio workout last night around 8:30 pm after the kids were in bed. I also ate well, focusing on cutting back on salt. It worked! 169.2 this morning, all that salt flushed out. Lesson learned, salt is not my friend, at least not without a lot of water at the same time. :)

So I think I'm about 5-10 lbs from where I was when we moved to camp just about 1 yr ago. It's good to know that I've almost undone all the damage of last year in just about 2.5 months. I'm feeling a lot stronger and more fit than a year ago, so that is also a bonus. Plus, I'm sure that while my weight is similar, my body composition is not. Really looking forward to seeing how my body transforms as I get closer to goal and see how it compares to 2006 before I got pregnant. I know it won't be the same, but I'm hopeful that I'll be stronger and more muscular. I have a long way to go, and I'm under no illusions that this is going to be either quick or easy, but definitely enjoying the journey this time around.

Meh

Having a rough emotional weekend. I was hoping to get something productive done this morning - either help out with the Raindrop Preschool garage sale or paint Em's room. I was under the impression someone was going to help out with my kids. Guess what I did this morning? I hung out with the kids while they went to workshops because Noah was being a whiny, clinger today. Lucky me. I'm really frustrated, so I've been stress eating today. Not good that at 3:20pm, I have 2 daily points left, but I do have 27 activity points still and all 49 of my weekly bonus points. Still...I don't care. I have eaten chips, a couple of Hostess snack cakes, might have had a bit of bourbon in my diet dr pepper. I'm just grouchy and annoyed and motivated to do nada.

A large part of this issue is my left hip and that because my back & pelvis are slightly out of alignment, I can't run without a lot of pain and discomfort for a significant period - I'm still limping! I have my first chiropractor appointment on 7/6 and cannot wait. I've come to love running when I'm frustrated because I can just turn my attention to the music I'm listening to, zone out and stare at the trees outside and run (or walk). The miles seemingly fly by (well, all 3-5 of them) and then I feel more centered. I need to find where I packed most of my workouts so I can have some variety until I can get back on the treadmill. Of course, I'm sure I'll be packing stuff back up in a couple of weeks, so it's kind of obnoxious (mostly that I packed them 1.5 months ago!)

I'm sure that I'll be back on track after the group leaves tomorrow, or at least by Monday. Honestly though, I'm trying to give myself a bit of leeway, I'm not doing that badly by any stretch of the imagination. I am just having a rough day and despite sunshine and one napping kid and the other playing with her cousin, I didn't want to work out, just wanted to sit and sulk, so that's what I'm doing. It's quiet, so that's a bonus. I know I'm only human and I can't expect to be doing fabulously on WW every single day, so today is my "human day". I can go back to being a machine tomorrow. :)

Nap time!

Week 8 - Settling in

So at the end of month #2 on Weight Watchers, I am down a total of 15.2 lbs and 17.75". I have a follow up at the dr on Friday, so I'll be curious to see how much I'm down at my appt. I was down about 10 lbs according to their scale when I went about 3.5 weeks ago. I'm down another 6.6 lbs during my at home weigh-ins, so I'm curious. Either way, she'll be happy to see me still moving down. I do plan to ask about my hip/thigh pain if it's still bothering me at the end of the week. I'm sure it's over-training, as I've been pushing myself hard. I want to keep pushing for 5 mile run/walks, but don't want to do so at the detriment of my tendons & muscles.

The good news is that by staying consistent (great lesson for the kids!), I'm starting to pull away from the trending curve by my last weight loss attempt. It's very gratifying as I'm slogging through this journey that it's only MY hard work and MY dedication that is contributing to this loss (well, and being on meds LOL). No short-cuts, no gimmicks, no "miracle" pills. Just sweat, water, fruits, vegetables and eating appropriately for my size. I've cut back on treats (mostly), but when I have them, I keep track of them and move on.

My jeans are super loose now, they actually fit well right out of the dryer, and I have a decent waist-line back. I have a ways to go to be in good shape and look good, but every bit helps! I'm definitely stronger and my endurance is improving greatly. On my 5 mile run last week, I ran 31 mins and walked quickly another 30 mins and a 10 min cool down walk. The reason for running 31 mins? I was .2 short, so I sprinted 1 min at 6mph. :) Plus, I'd been doing weight training DVD workouts after run/walking 5Ks during the week. I'm scaling back a bit and doing one or the other.

I need to remember that I'm 31, have had 2 babies and my body is not the same as when I was 26. I need to think about the growing and stretching my body did to bring two beautiful kids into the world and be forgiving of the stretch marks, the saggy baby bulge, the droopy breasts, and weaker joints. I find something new to love about my body every day - my collar bones are starting to come back, my shoulders are getting more definition from my upper arms, my ankle/calves are becoming more toned, my legs are strong, my abs are getting firm and I can do good sit-ups, better than pre-babies even!

So as I go through this journey on a somewhat competitive level against myself at 25-26 yrs old, I am keeping in mind that I have a different body, I am doing this to be truly healthy, not just to have babies, and I have two little sets of eyes watching what I do and asking questions. They are curious about my workouts, about my diet. They try the veggies (granted they usually say yuck), they like to eat fruits, they drink water, they run around, ride their bike/trike, dance, play and emulate the healthy lifestyle I'm trying to create for this family. How can you not be happy to see hard work coming to fruition?!? :)

Week 7 - Smoking

I am down another 2.6 lbs this week, totally 13.6 in 7 wks on WW. Not too shabby! I've also gotten up to 24 mins/2 miles at 5 mph (12 min mile) on the treadmill. My 5K time yesterday was 43:03 and I'm looking forward to getting some running socks to my instep blisters are a thing of the past. It will take a while to save for the Mizuno Wave Nirvana 7 running shoes I would like to purchase. I definitely have my work cut out for me, but I am hopeful that perhaps I can join my friends Heather & Lori running a half-marathon next year. I know I'm not close right now, but I just need to keep working on endurance and losing weight.

I take measurements again next week, it will be interesting to see if there are many losses or if I maintain and just keep losing weight. Either way, I'm shrinking away and just feel like I'm on fire with WW & exercise. It's amusing me that I'm starting my 8th week, but it feels like I'm still just getting started. I think it helps that I jumped in head first and am not hesitant. I know how the program works and I know where my strengths & weaknesses are. Plus, I really enjoy working out. I love how strong and fit it makes me feel, I like having time to work off my stress and to focus on me. I really want to get more DVDs, but I'm still on an imposed buy-ban. Truly, it's a good thing though. I added over 20 workouts to my Christmas list. :)

Week 6 - Double Digits!

Well, that's slightly misleading. I didn't lose double digits this week, but as of today, my total weight loss is in double digits. 11.0 lbs to be exact. :) My unofficial loss is closer to 15 lbs, but since I'm just talking WW loss, I'm down 11.0 lbs. I lost 2.2 lbs this week and another 3" in the last 2 weeks. I'm thrilled because the inches came off my thighs, hips & arms. Those are the harder areas for me to get losses on.

Kyle was telling me this morning that I'm looking great. I'm trying to so hard to focus on accepting compliments as they come and not focusing on all the work I have yet to do. I had a discussion on my mom's board about body image and projecting onto our children and it's all something we struggle with - finding a balance between what we feel about ourselves and what we let our kids hear about it. I did realize this morning as I stripped down to weigh in that I'm less grossed out by my reflection in the mirror. I'm getting more comfortable with the ripples and stretch marks and accepting that having kids changes things a lot. Granted, I am overjoyed that my saggy belly is slowly getting smaller, but I'm trying to focus on the fact I'm getting stronger and my endurance is increasing.

I tried putting 5 miles on the treadmill on Sunday and it went so-so. I finished, but the time was a lot slower than I had hoped and I could only run 7 mins. I finished in 87:37 while listening to an audio book. I honestly think that had a large part to do with why my time was so slow. I couldn't get into a good grove because I was listening to the story. Granted, the whole point for doing 5 miles was just to do it and not focus on speed, but I was averaging 3.4 mph instead of 4.2 mph that I have been hitting. I have to keep reminding myself that I've only been at this for 6 weeks. Plus, as the pounds come off, it will get easier to run longer and faster.

Week 5 - Not feeling the love

Wow, this was a rough week. I just couldn't find my groove. There was too much of "life" getting in the way. ;) Hoping this week is way better. It will be a bit tricky to get the kids into a bit of a schedule/rhythm since we don't have school. Diet will also be tricky until we can get to the store.

I'm still happy about my running progress, but it's hard not to focus on what went wrong. I got half as many activity points as I have been, I ate a lot of extra calories this weekend. And when I mean a lot, I mean a LOT. I ate all of my APs and a few of my weekly points (for the first time since I started). Needless to say, don't plan to do that again! I just feel really "off" lately. My head is out of the game and I feel like I'm unraveling. I know once I get a few workouts in and drink a lot of water and give my mood a detox, I'll be feeling a lot better. I just know I need to ease up on myself. It's flipping week 5, not every week is a stellar week and I still lost 0.2 lbs. I didn't gain, and given how badly I ate the last 4 days & how little water I had, it was great.

Bring it on!

So yesterday was my follow up with my ARNP. She was happy about my 10 lbs lost and that I am doing much better. It looked like we were going to leave meds as they were, but I made a comment about increasing the anti-depressant, to which she replied, "sure, that might help." Pretty standard appointment, but still love her! She's so easy to get along with and very positive.

I'm on day 2 of the increased dosage. So far, ouch! So tired and moody. Forgot about those side effects from the first week and the fact that adding more meds means more adjustments. Yesterday was rough. Today, I knew to expect it, so I am not quite as nearly impacted. Emotionally, I'm a little more steady, but basically, back to where I was 2 days ago. LOL

I didn't get a workout in yesterday, I was cleaning and doing laundry instead. I could completely tell, because I was cranky. I hit the treadmill today for 30 minutes. I walked the first 6 mins, then ran for 5, then switched to intervals of 1-2 mins of each for the remaining 19 mins. I was happy that I ran for half of the time and my mile time was 14:10, which is really good for me! The other good thing is that I can run without the song being completely fast & rocking. Yay!

Also, a mom at Em's school mentioned today that she can tell I'm losing weight and looked good. :D Nothing like a good compliment to make a girl feel good. Wondering what my friends will have to say this weekend. I'm excited about the progress I'm making and since I did say I'd do a marathon with two of them in the next 5 yrs... I guess at some point I'll have to start running for more than 4 miles. LOL I think that since we're on summer vacation, I might give a longer distance a try next week, even if Noah's up and the kids are watching tv. I think 5 miles is doable and I won't pressure myself to run a ton, just at least 20 mins. Heck, if I can run for 30 mins I will be so pumped! :)

I'm just so excited that I'm slowly becoming a runner. It felt good and I wish that I would have kept running when I stopped at 5 mins. I think I could have done at least another 2-3 mins, but I psyched myself out. I definitely noticed that the farther along I got, the harder it was to run for 2 mins, I think the last intervals were 1 min each. So I think when I do my 5 miles, I'll just run as long as I can before stopping just to see how long I can go. Granted, I'm only running at 5mph, but I have stumpy legs and I'm still 54 lbs over my max healthy BMI. I'm so excited to imagine what it will be like to be back down in the 140's and running, then the 130's, 120's & maybe even the 110's. My ARNP thinks that 120 is a good goal weight - she seemed a little shocked when I said 115-120. I told her that I was shooting for 115, but that I'm happy at 120 if that is where my body decides it's done. My healthy BMI range is 99-124, so I do have some wiggle room. The trick will be to not gain a ton if we decide to have another baby. Because I can tell you now, if I gain 30, most of it will come off easily and then it will only be 10-15 lbs to work at. Much nicer than 70 lbs!

Week 4 - Love this!

I lost another 3 lbs this week! :D Can't be upset about that one! So that makes 8.6 lbs in 4 weeks. Plus, I had lost about 4 lbs before I started WW, so 12.6 lbs in 7 weeks! Hoping my ARNP is super excited on Thursday.

Today was my last day taking weekly measurements. I lost another 2.25 inches, for a total of 13.5 in 4 weeks. I decided that as the inch loss slows, I might get discouraged, so I'm more than willing to wait a month to see how I'm doing. :) I did notice I've gone down 1 pant size already too.

I really should have hit the treadmill, but the kids really did a number on my nerves today - acted up while we were helping set up/get chairs for graduation tomorrow. Em screamed the entire way home (20 mins), so I gobbled up a Butterfinger. 8 pts!!! Wow, not going to do that again. It wasn't even satisfying or all that tasty. Oh well, I have 6 days to get past that one! Just really want this week to be over!

Week 3 - Slimming up

Another week, another 1.8 lbs down and 4 inches lost! Woo hoo!!! :)

So now I'm 179.8. I weighed in at 189 when I was at the Dr. in April. So I think my appt a week from Thursday will be good. The sun is shining today, so that is a great help. It's warm too!

I'm hopeful that by the time I unpack the clothes I put in the suitcases - the skinny clothes - that maybe my 10's might be almost fitting. I figure that we have at least 3 weeks if not longer until we can move. Of course, those won't be the first things unpacked either. Definitely looking forward to dropping sizes.

I chopped off my hair yesterday & dyed it this morning. I'm mostly happy with it. I'd like to have layers and maybe a little less length, but it's a lot better now that it's hitting my shoulders and not down to my mid-back. At least I can still throw it up in a pony tail for workouts. Time to let lunch digest then get to my workout. Fighting the post lunch sleepiness.

Clothes

I am working on packing up our house, slowly. Today, I packed up all of my skinny clothes. There were tons of size 6 & 8 pants, skirts, size small tops and I miss them! I went on a shopping spree about 1 month before I got pregnant with Em and subsequently grew out of them within a few weeks after finding out. I have such cute skirts, so many pairs of Lucky Brand jeans, my mint green XS North Face vest. I cannot wait to hit next spring/summer and be at goal. That may mean some of those clothes might even be too big! Either way, I am so thrilled to have the opportunity to shop out of my own clothes as I get thinner.

This time I am 100% determined to make this work. I may need to increase my anti-depressant dosage at my next appt to help that. I've noticed my motivation is waning, along with my coping skills. I do fine as long as the sun is out, but on days like today, where it's dark & gray, I just want to go back to bed or have it be quiet. I'm feeling so much better than 6 weeks ago, but I know that this still isn't where I need to be. I'm just grateful that I'm aware enough of my emotions to know that I need to be my own advocate and to speak up if something is wrong.

I know that once we have moved into the new house and I have more space, things will help. I'm so claustrophobic in our apartment with the two kids and dog constantly underfoot, that having over double the space will be a much needed relief. I'm really looking forward to having a fully enclosed room for Kyle & I again and for having 2 bathrooms and for the kids to have their own rooms. I'm excited to have my treadmill in my house to use whenever I want, regardless of groups being at camp. I'm most excited about a house that is not on the main camp property. No guests waking the kids up from naps/sleep, no dog barking all day while groups are here, privacy for our family.

I better go find a snack, then get back to packing. While I have time, I shouldn't waste it and then rush at the end. It would be great to avoid procrastinating for once. ;)

Week 2 - Rocked

Weigh in this morning was fabulous! I already knew I was going to be down at least 1.6 (that was what it was when I peeked yesterday), but I was beyond blown away when it was 2.4! I managed to drop .8 yesterday! It feels so good to be doing well and down 3.8 in 2 weeks. I'm not sure if having that milkshake on Thursday was a good thing because I worked super hard to get it off the rest of the week, or if I could have had a larger loss without it. Either way, 2.4 was great. I'm also down another 3 inches for a total of 7.25 lost in 2 weeks.

Still grateful that Em keeps me accountable with working out. I know there are a few days where I would have skipped, but she reminded me to go workout and I am glad that I did. It always helps me feel stronger and more fit each time. Plus, I think it's good for her to see me active, since it emphasizes the importance of exercise without being preachy, so she tries to find fun things to do that involve moving her body - riding her trike, dancing, running around. Excited to see how the next week goes!

Week 1 - Accomplished

Whoops! I started this and then never finished it. :o)

So at the end of my first week back on WW, I was down 1.4 lbs and 4.25 inches gone. Not the best ever, but certainly am not complaining because I'm smaller.

I've been working hard this past week and while I don't see much change on the scale yet (hopefully that milk shake I had will go away!), I hope to see one on Tuesday morning for weigh in. I started incorporating my DVDs into the workout rotation this week. I did FIRM cardio bootcamp and it was tough, but good. Today I did Tae Bo Flex and it was pretty good. I have a lot of room for improvement, but I finished pretty easily.

I've been doing more walking on the treadmill. I've been focusing on walking/jogging 5k, but on Friday I did 4 miles. It kicked my rear something fierce! I probably won't do that again for another week. I'm definitely starting to feel small improvements in my stamina again and hopefully it will continue to increase!

Day 1...again

Well, today is the day. Our internet is working, we had our weekend away, time to buckle down and get healthy. It was interesting reading back to the beginning of this blog just how motivated I was. I didn't realize I was so dedicated to losing weight and getting fit and healthy. It's kind of sad how much I lost track of in the last year. I understand how it happened - no meds to keep my head on straight and cope with stress, no internet to follow either Weight Watchers or sparkpeople.com - but it's still sad. Hopefully I can get my head back in the game and work hard. I have cute clothes in my closet that I would love to be wearing by next summer (as in a year from June, not this summer).

So today, my weight is 185.4. Not good, but it is still 3 lbs less than it was when I started on my meds 2.5 weeks ago. I haven't done anything yet - no exercise, no intentional healthy eating - so I can't complain. It's just that being on meds again has curbed my compulsive eating behaviors, so I am no longer getting a ton of extraneous calories that don't belong in my diet. My intentional change today was switching back to Americanos instead of nonfat lattes. Lactose & I aren't the best of friends these days. The next change needs to be getting to bed earlier, waking up earlier and getting in my workouts in the early morning so that I have the rest of the day to add in extra activity, or at least do something with the kids.

As I was looking at my weight chart on WW.com, I realized that I was only 131.2 in 8/06, right before I got pregnant with Emily. So I have a long way to go to get into my super cute size 6 jeans, skirts, etc., but I know that with some discipline, I can do it. Only 54 lbs to go, right? LOL My initial goal is to lose 20 lbs by the end of the summer, so roughly a lb a week through the end of August. Hopefully I can surpass that goal, but I'm trying to be realistic with a move & eating camp food this summer. So once I get to that 2o lbs mark, I'll probably reevaluate and plan the next goals.

I'm baaacccckkkk!

Well, it has been quite an interesting year. We moved out to Camp Bethel at the end of May of last year and it's been a challenging adjustment for me.

I gained 30 pounds in the first 6 months and managed to maintain that from Christmas until now. We didn't have insurance until this last month, so I had to endure my seasonal/clinical depression medication free all fall/winter. I'm now back on medication and feeling the life coming back into me. I still have a ways to go (and a LOT of weight to lose), but definitely feel better than I did a few weeks ago. Spring showing up also helps.

I just need to get back to walking/jogging on my treadmill and doing Weight Watchers. Having internet back after not having it for a year will definitely help. It doesn't help they changed the points calculations so the stuff I had memorized means nada now.

So I'm currently down 4 lbs from a couple of weeks ago and hopefully getting exercise and eating well will get the weight off quickly.